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Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself
Once you've had John Wagner make that crack at your name, every other time you hear it it sounds more and more feeble
Right, let's begin, shall we? I’m the art-droid known as PJ Holden.
Not PJ Maybe (once you’ve had John Wagner make that crack at your name, every other time you hear it it sounds more and more feeble).
Not PJ Harvey (me +giant invisible rabbit).
Not, especially, BJ Holden (BJ? Oh, I get it. It’s rude. Mind you, so’s a kick in the nuts, but you wouldn’t think about doing it to someone you know, would you, you little shi[That’s enough airing personal grievances - Ed]).
And this little journey we’re about to embark on together is called "Art Droid Confidential".
I figure I’ll just replace the old words with something new from the thesaurus, that’s what writers do, right?
Before I begin dispensing the beads of sagacity (in order to try and be a writer I’m doing my damnedest to avoid trite phrases like ‘pearls of wisdom’ - I figure I’ll just replace the old words with something new from the thesaurus, that’s what writers do, right?) I’ll give you a rundown on my credentials as an art droid.
Just in case you’ve never heard of me (as art droid fame is a fairly obscure level of fame - you leave the alpha-numeric designations and start entering the colour spectrum , I, myself, am an ultra-violet-list celebrity), here's a quick low-down.
My professional comic book career started with 2000AD in 2000, when I turned 30 (although strictly speaking my first published work appeared in 2001, but that doesn’t look anywhere near as interesting).
 I have, over the course of the past seven or eight years, worked on Dredd, Rogue Trooper and the 86ers and am presently working on a new series for 2000AD called ‘DeadSignal’ with ‘Al Ewing’.
Outside of 2000AD, I’ve just finished a book with Image comics, worked for fantagraphics, Eros (fantagraphics' porno division), Warhammer and Toxic! (not the one you’re thinking of, the other one - for 7 year olds).
Those short paragraphs, dear reader are what allow me to spew forth my opalescent spherical objects of advisability (See? Money for old rope). This monthly column, over the next year, will help guide you through getting your foot in the door of the comics industry, and, more importantly, keeping it there.
That should beef up the old word count nicely - I learnt writing from the best of them, you know
We’ll be covering some topics you’ve probably read elsewhere, such as "what should be in my portoflio" but we’ll try and add some extra angles and dispel some of the myths and legends than always sprout up when things turn out to be slightly harder than you think they are.
I'll also always take questions from the audience (that should beef up the old word count nicely - I learnt writing from the best of them, you know).
That’s all the basics out of the way, so, now we can get down to the business of the first column.
THREE IS THE MAGIC NUMBER
There are three laws of Droidotics or, what three things you need to do to be a professional comic artist.
They are:
1) Be FAST.
2) Be GOOD.
3) Be EASY.
Don’t be an ASS HAT
Actually, rule 3 should, more properly, read "Be EASY to get along with". Or, better, "Don’t be an ASS HAT". But I think we’re all agreed, "Be EASY" looks better.
Of course, the trick with the three laws is you only actually need to obey two of them. Which two? That's for next month; right now I'm off back to my drawing board. Cheers!
PJ Holden is trying to write. His family are trying to stop him. Not deliberately, just in the that way that families do.
www.pauljholden.com
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