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The Quick and the Dead (Broke)
Last time (on Soap) I proffered up the three laws of art-droids, to wit:
1) Be Fast
2) Be Good
3) Be Easy (ok, not ‘Be Easy’ - more accurately ‘Don’t be an Ass-hat’)
 The secret of the three laws is... well, you only need two of them.
But which two, PJ? I here you cry. Any two. Any combination of any two
is all you need. Now, all three is a huge advantage, but not necessary.
We’re gonna deal with each of these attributes one at a time, because, well, there's a surprising amount to say about something as simple each of the three laws. We'll start with 'BE FAST'
Editors hurl artists wholesale into the machinery of 2000AD, grinding them down until all that's left are ink stained fingernails...
Why FAST? Comics, and 2000AD especially, eat through material at a rate of knots. Editors hurl artists whole-sale into the machinery of 2000AD grinding them down until all that’s left are ink stained fingernails. That's why new blood is always required and many artists appear once and then... disappear, never to be seen again. Even those
that draw amazingly well (and, arguably, especially those that draw amazingly well) can't handle the required pace of production.
It’s hard to adjust to this, coming from the small press where work proceeds at a more laconic pace - where people have OTHER THINGS TO DO and the comics come second to everything. It’s difficult to make the mental adjustment to the fact that getting the comic out is the only thing that matters.
More importantly, if you can’t draw at least one page per day you will not be able to make any sort of living as a comic artist. And if your aim isn’t to make a living as a comic artist? well, you may as well stop reading now. This is for those hardy individuals that need to be comic artists.
This is a little fake-dance, a dual-lie-tango, that editors and creators engage in.
A little insider secret here, if an editor likes your work he will ask how fast you can draw. This is a little fake-dance, a dual-lie-tango, that editors and creators engage in.
How fast can you draw ? You say ‘One page per day’. He says ‘Great’ and doesn’t believe you. It doesn’t matter if you can draw faster than that, he won’t believe you and It doesn’t matter if you draw slower than that, that’s the last thing you want to tell him.
Newbie McNewDroid is gonna draw a filler Dredd. Get used to it.
In any event, the first job is a test. A little hurdle, there’s no way you’ll get anything with a proper deadline, you’ll get given an inventory assignment. For 2000AD, typically a Future Shock, but,
occasionally (as with me, and some others) you’ll get a Dredd. Why a Dredd? More than anything else in the comic, 2000AD munches through Dredd material like a zombie at a brainiac convention.
 Ideally all Dredd’s would be drawn by Mike McMahon, Brian Bolland, Carlos Ezquerra or Steve Dillon (circa1983) but, in the real world that’s never gonna happen, so, sometimes, Newbie McNewDroid is gonna draw a filler Dredd. Get used to it.
Next time, I’ll cover Be Good and Be Easy. But before I head off to the drawing board, a little game you can play on the messageboards...
Name any writer or artist and decide which two (or three) of those essential criteria do they fulfil.
For me, it’s simple: I’m fast and I’m easy (just ask my wife).
PJ Holden, wishes he was Good. But fast and easy are good enough for now.
www.pauljholden.com
PJ Holden's "Fearless" #4 is out now at all good comic shops
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