2000AD Prog 1498 - 26 July 2006
	Judge Dredd (Spurrier / Marshall) Harry Kipling (Spurrier / Cook) Go - Machine (Ewing / Elson) Red Seas (Edginton / Yeowell) Cover: Frazer Irving

Synopsis by Jordan Smith
1st opinion by Marcus Nyahoe
2nd opinion by Floyd Kermode

Summaries and reviews contain spoilers for this issue.

Cover Review

MN: I must admit that, on first glance, this cover did not appeal to me which is probably a bad indication of its ability to attract the casual buyer in Smiths. However it started to grow on me after closer inspection. The 2000AD logo is unobscured, and Jack Dancer leers out from the page very effectively, looking terrified of the shadowy figures surrounding him. It's nice to linger over, but I think, overall, Frazer Irving is much better suited to interior art.

FK: Yuck! Would be my immediate reaction. A piratical type runs towards us pursued by vague tree-like figures. He is hunched up in terror or possibly with constipation and has a look of shame on his face, as so he should. Normally, I'd dismiss the cover with a shrug, but this cover is by Frazer Irving who is one of 2000 AD's great art geniuses. It's possible that he's been trying for something extraordinary and has just missed. Certainly the cover doesn't look like most of his artwork. This is the third time Mr Irving has cooked up artwork which has had me wondering who the artist was. The other two times it was brilliant (they were his Valkyries cover and the first Jack Point story he did) this time - well, 'yuck' still works for me. Sorry if that's not the artistic appreciation you were expecting, but I'm a non-artist. Fine use of shading, brilliant perspective and so on are things I can't describe. Yuck.

Neoweirdies - Part 3

Dredd gets tough...

Synopsis: Dredd has arrested the entire Neo-Weirdie Show for incitement to murder and is now interrogating the panelist experts along with other judges. A catch wagon that was carrying the last of the finalists has crashed. Dredd orders to step up security even though everyone's been arrested.

Back at the show the panelists are about to announce their winner when Dredd gets call from Chaney indicating that mucous deposits have been found on the assassins. Dredd discovers that every crewman on the show is a member of the Snork fanclub. Back at the show Snork is expressing his feelings on the show when a voice booms "ENOUGH!", and that voice belongs to no other than Snork's big nose! It takes him up into the air, releasing a green gas at the same time which puts Snork to sleep. Dredd rushes in just on time and shoots the nose with an armour piercing bullet. But the nose has somehow learned to control fans who've bought Snork replicas, and those people are ordered to open the sprinklers, releasing tons and tons of crap into the studio.

The death toll has reached thirty five but the surviving experts have reached a decision on the winner. In the Grand Hall of Justice judges discover that Snork's nose had a faulty A.I. Snork is outraged because he didn't know anything about it but Dredd gives him six months for having a dangerous product...and a crown for winning the Neo-Weirdie Show! "Man with a psychotic nose. Definitely weird."

MN: Over the years we've seen some fine writers on 2000AD totally fail to produce anything with Dredd. Writers such as Garth Ennis and Grant Morrisson have totally failed to produce the quality that John Wagner (and lately Gordon Rennie) seems to produce on a regular basis. Simon Spurrier's star is fast rising, but he joins the ranks of creators who have failed with Mega City One's finest. This three part strip could easily have been told as a one shot, and in the past it would have been. The parodies of the art world were a little blunt and unimaginative, and the dialogue was lazily done. Brian Sewell for instance, has a very distinctive speaking voice, yet his parody captured none of this. All this and a rather unpleasant and illogical climax with the sprinklers. Could this be the Spurrier droid's first dud?

Artwise there's not a lot to say. Paul Marshall provides serviceable visuals, although there's nothing there that's going to set the world alight. His Mark Lawson figure does look more like Stephen Fry though, which didn't help the story. Overall I'd have to say this is not the best Dredd story I've read this year.

FK: Now for another of 2000AD's Bright Young Things, the estimable Mr Simon Spurrier. His Dredd story 'Neowierdies' is a delight for several reasons. Most importantly, it's very well written. Incidental funniness, such as Dredd accidentally extracting confessions whilst on the trail of the mystery killer, combines with the general loopy tone. We've seen Citizen Snork stories before and this one is a classic. There's a plausible surprise ending that I didn't see coming. The artwork is good. I particularly liked the annoying, ultrasophisticated robot host. Is it just me, or does he resemble Stephen Fry?

My other reason for feeling fondly about 'Neowierdies' is a fannish one. I'm a 2000AD fan and this is a classic story well done, looking fresh as a daisy. I'm a Simon Spurrier fan and here he has done something new; a Dredd story which could have been written by John Wagner on a good day. Previous Spurrier Dredds have had a tendency to over-literary self-talk (that Gerard Manly Hopkins running together of words that John Smith loves so much). Here the smart-arsery is only practiced by the robot pseud, all else is good writing and restraint. Gives me hope for the future.

Something For Nothing - Part 2

Plans made...

Synopsis: At NAM (New Atheist Militia) headquarters, their leader explains to Neesha that there used to be thousands of Flockies before most of them died of starvation. Neesha blames their God for their evilness but the NAM leader can't tell the difference. He tells her how they took his wife and later only found bones. Neesha comforts him and eventually convinces him to go after Harry.

Harry is meanwhile being brought before Orunmila the Wise, who is a small dog-like creature in a cage. One of the Flockies asks Orunmila if he can release Harry because he seems like a rather charming guy. Orunmila gives a few violent suggestions but after a few pokes with a stick, orders for him to be set free. Harry finds him rather charming and is told by a Flockie that he used to be bigger when there were plenty of believers. This Flockie also explains how the guys from NAM are but confused, little realizing that they too are good guys. Harry begins to realize that the men from NAM are trying to be like him but are "cocking it up". Sure enough as Orunmila shrinks smaller while playing with a Flockie, NAM attacks the Flockie camp...

MN: Now this is the Simon Spurrier I know (he should do something about the imposter writing Dredd under his name). This offers a nice little twist on who the good guys and bad guys are, which I should have seen coming but just didn't. This revelation was really well handled, and displayed Spurrier's invention and way with dialogue. There's also the impression that beneath it all, he's trying to say something about the nature of belief.

Boo Cook brings his own contribution to the excellence of the strip. It's been a joy to watch the artist develop for someone who put too much into each panel, and who's pages always seemed cluttered, blossom into a person who has truly mastered their craft. The amount of information in each panel has been pared down, and his page design is just wonderful; pages three and four were the strip changes to move horizontally across the double page spread is a particularly fine example. It's also good to study how well he manipulates our view in each panel, when more than one person is speaking, so that the person who's dialogue is first is depicted on the left.

FK: It's that Spurrier boy again! I must admit Harry Kipling didn't appeal to me at first. He seems based on a few simple and not very funny jokes, these being:

• those imperialistic solar-topee-wearing types were very funny in a bigoted imperialistic way
• what if every deity every imagined was real and people lived in terror of them?
• wouldn't it be funny if the hero of a story was actually dead? Wouldn't that be a hoot?

As for the first point, maybe I read too much. It's possible that if I hadn't read all the Flashman and most of the Jeeves books, I'd find Kipling's 'up and at the bally blighters' patter hilarious. As it was, it wore off in the first episode. The second component makes quite a good premise for a story. Kipling's deadness wasn't very funny or interesting.

However, there has been a twist and this week the story is moving in a slightly interesting direction. There are signs of complexity emerging in the relation between Kipling and the various deities he's pledged to wipe out. I don't think this is ever going to be on my list of Stories I Must Re-read One Day, but it's on the up and up. I just wish the talented Mr S would use some of the restraint he showed in the Dredd story here.

The Go-machine strikes back...

A while later the Director is fighting another human in front of a crowd of robots and humanoids outdoors in the snow. He chokes the man to death while Keller, visits him.

"How does it feel to be Champion?", he asks.

MN: I'm hesitant to say anything too harsh about this as it's Al Ewing's first ongoing strip for 2000AD (I think) and he does seem to have a lot of promise. Unfortunately, this is another of this week's strips that could have been completed as a one shot. This tale is essentially an extended Future Shock, high on violence and low on characterisation. There's been little to this story that we've not read before, although I did feel a pang of joy at the poetic justice ending. Richard Elson's art is always pleasant on the eye, and he works well with very little here, his depictions of the characters' facial expressions being particularly effective.

FK: Let's look on the bright side here. I was expecting Go Machine to be a really boring fight for freedom as our part-robot hero fights against other robots and creepy humans who exploited him. You know, something you could dream up with your eyes shut. Instead it surprised me and turned into a reasonable three part Future Shock with a very Future Shock-ish twist. You can almost hear the music they played at the end of 'Twilight Zone' in the background. So that's the good news. On the 'cup is half empty' side, the twist doesn't seem particularly well-written. I looked at it a few times to make sure and realized that it's a perfectly good twist by the standards of a Future Shock or the Twilight Zone. The only problem is that I don't really care about the story or the characters.

As for the art; I must declare an interest here. Richard Elson once mailed me to get hold of some Japanese books and I've felt fondly towards him ever since, such is the excitement of getting amiable mail from published artists. So I can't be relied on when I say that I think his art is good but badly coloured here.

Oh well, if I tell myself that Go Machine was just another Future Shock, it's not so bad.

The Hollow Land - Part 8

Tate Modern was never like this...

Synopsis: Jack Dancer, along with company have boarded the pendant moon which seems to be artificially constructed. But there may be trouble as the statues from the corridor have come alive and are now behind them. Jack suggests using the weapons that Isabella's guards are carrying, but Simeon tries talking to them while Jack and Alex theorize that Isabella knew nothing about this. Simeon introduces him himself to the statues but they don't seem interested and stand in front of Isabella. She thinks they know who's in charge then but they even ignore her and examine her guards whom they kill a moment later. Isabella orders them to protect her while she and the others retreat to the exit. The door hesitates before opening and when it does, more of the statues are waiting inside.

Jack tells Isabella to do some voodoo but they end up arguing instead. Simeon tells her to ignore what she can't control and concentrate more on what she can do. Her guards are brought back to life but one is killed again while Isabella asks Simeon how her magic works here. He briefly explains how this world should have physical laws of its own and can therefore allow magic but in a different form. The friendly dinoman notices that the statues from the doorway aren't moving, but Alex also realizes that they don't need to as the remaining guard is eaten by the statue. The statues from the doorway morph around them, so that they are all encased within a sphere each. These spit them out in front of a giant sphere, imprinted with the faces them all.

It speaks - "Hello there. I'm Hnau."

MN: The Red Seas gets more and more interesting as it goes on. Ian Edginton keeps the surprises coming, with mystery surrounding the stone creatures and their attack on the lizard creatures. The plot evolves nicely, the dialogue is cracking, and that last panel very intriguing and means that this may well be the first thing I turn to in the next prog. Steve Yeowell gels well with the writer to produce something that you can't imagine carrying on without the involvement of both parties. His back and white work is exquisite and has a fluidity that really brings the action scenes to life.

FK: Now this just isn't fair. Come on. I'm not a miracle worker here. Being asked to write a review of a story that's just about a perfect example of what it's supposed to be isn't on and must be a violation of Australia's labour laws. Wait a minute, we don't have any any more. Go on then, exploit me.

(Deep breath) Red Seas began life as a bit of piratical silliness involving mysticism, tars and tarts with hearts of gold and mythology. A light-hearted ripping yarn kind of thing. It is still all of those things but just keeps on getting better by becoming more ripping and by expanding the action and fantasy part a lot. Dinosaurs, witches, two-headed dogs with robot bodies, giant artificial planet-things, all beautifully rendered by Steve Yeowell, who turns in some gorgeous landscapes. There's a slight incongruity as one of the 'rough-as-guts' pirates decides to wax all philosophical about physical laws from our world not holding in the other world, but that need not detain us. The pirate's characters never had much to offer anyway, so if one them steps out of character there isn't a huge loss.

I'm not supposed to do summaries in these reviews, which is just as well - any summary of Red Seas would make it sound silly and would detract from the enjoyment. I hope it goes on forever.