2000AD Prog 1489 - 24 May 2006
	Judge Dredd (Rennie / Holden) Lobster Random (Spurrier / Critchlow) The V.C.s (Abnett / Williams) Low Life (Williams / Coleby) Nikolai Dante (Morrison / Burns) Cover: Dylan Teague

Synopsis by Gavin Hanly
1st opinion by Linton Porteus
2nd opinion by Stephen Watson

Summaries and reviews contain spoilers for this issue.

Cover Review

LP: This is one of the best covers of the year. Stay with me.

On its own, sure, it's an inarguably well-drawn but characterless piece that serves to portray the cliché of a cop on the edge vs. the man that nobody can remember from a previous series. However, this in itself has sparked off a caption competition over on the other site, and much murmuring about how covers these days just ain't what they used to be, in terms of fun, characterisation and speech bubbles, which (according to one online raconteur) increase the thrill-power of a cover by a factor of at least eight.

As if all that wasn't enough, there's the enigma of the protagonist aiming his gun past the back of Nixon's head, which indicates that her look of concern may be due to being ignored, despite the trouble she's gone to with her hair and lip gloss, not to mention the bold fashion statement of the parka with the red lining and the fun fur trim hood.

SW: My first impressions of this Dylan Teague effort were favourable. It’s a bold and striking image that fully fills the space and doesn’t distort the logo. On closer inspection however, I’m not so sure. The perspective are wrong to start with - it looks like Aimee is off to answer the door whilst Blackbird is shooting someone else altogether. Aimee’s hair is also flawed, looking as it does like some reeds of grass that have been stuffed in a vase. My last nitpick is that this cover follows from the last episodes final panel, and in the week that’s followed Blackbird has changed his
jacket and went from being left to right handed!

House of Pain - Part 5

Dredd shows off...

Synopsis: Dredd tracks the source of the H Lifter to an old Sov factory in the Black Atlantic. A Squadron of Judicial Ships are sent out and come under missile fire when they reach the factory. Guthrie is along for the ride and uses his cybernetics to tear through the outer shell of the factory, letting the judges in. They soon find evidence of the House of Pain, with dead and tortured bodies in evidence. Other teams find explosives in place and the bomb squad tries to defuse them while a voice sounds over the Factory comm. The voice says it is leaving the House of Pain to them, and then opens all the cell doors, letting the rather miffed prisoners loose.

Elsewhere, Robert has Faustus chained up and says he is his “brother’s keeper”

LP: The chunky style of PJ Holden's art harks back to Brett Ewins' work on Rogue Trooper, whilst at the same time being something all it's own, developing strongly with each showing. On the one hand, there's the sublime image of the insect-like H-wagons flying in low across the rising sun, inescapably reminiscent of the airborne cavalry attack on Charlie's Point in the movie Apocalypse Now. It's difficult to reconcile that with the Escher-like portrayal of somewhat awkward angles on the last page, but perhaps this has been done deliberately to convey tension and claustrophobia amidst the cramped confines of the old Sov freighter: something which is certainly done to great effect on the preceding pages.

In terms of the story, it's main strength is as a vehicle for Guthrie 2.0 and his patented Warhammer 40,000 power-glove, whilst it's also just good fun to see the Judges go in all guns blazing against a credible threat. The bad guy is unfortunately one of those (prolific in modern movies) cerebral villains who talks too much about his motives and as a result comes across as being rather dull. This is clearly no Captain Skank. The closing exchange between Dredd and Hershey on the opening page seems forced and unnecessary, but the story recovers easily and mounts the tension well as we realise that the Judges have placed themselves in a very vulnerable situation.

SW: Now in its fifth week ‘House of Pain’ has taken its time to get going, but happily things start to move with this outing. A decent investigation and line of logic have lead to the judges doing their usual heavy squad routine and it’s all pretty entertaining. With Dredd’s back story there are of course easy comparisons to stories like ‘The Hunters’ Club’, ‘Gulag’ as well as several ‘Collectors’ type tales, but at least Rennie has thrown in a couple of wrong steps to keep us guessing.

The story is slowly unfolding with the villain and his motivation not yet fully clear. The final panel and the ‘brother’ comment add to the mix as do previous mentions of robot doubles. My guess is that the secretary is Faustus’ half brother and is using his unconscious sibling’s cash to revenge his parents’ deaths whilst using a robot double to keep up appearances.

PJ Holden’s art is coming on in leaps and bounds from the poor ‘War Zone’ in the Megazine, but he still lets things slip with the odd panel - the first panel on page five has Dredd missing his arm above his gauntlet!

All in all a decent outing, but not I fear one that’ll live long in the memory.

Random gets some exercise...

The fighting rages, and Random does his own fair share of slaughtering, but then an idea forms. He waits for Miss Teak to arrive and steal from the vault when Ferris bursts in and gets ready to kill them both. But Random has a plan…

LP: Mauve madness strikes again. Arguably, the choice of such a low-key palette detracts from the wild, incredibly well-drawn renderings on offer here to provide an end result that seems overly subdued and muddied. Perhaps this isn't the case when it's viewed on a backlit computer monitor. (A slight gripe about the art is the big line of stuff coming out of Lobster's detached zombie arm. Is it an artistic flourish? Does it indicate movement?)

What isn't in question is the value for groats this strip offers in terms of sheer content. This is what we get from a self-confessed proponent of compressed storytelling. The opening double-back double-take, where Hogg and Pin suddenly realise they're missing an opportunity back at Castle Greyskull, isn't just leftfield for the characters, but also the reader. Shenanigans ensue, including a wonderfully comic-timed method of escapology, and we're left, uniquely, with a cliff-hanger featuring, yes, a rabid, heavily armed tyrannosaurus-human conjoined twin. You couldn't make it up, except Simon Spurrier has.

SW: How mad is this strip?! I’ve liked Lobster from the off and despite a lack of robotic lovelies, this outing is shaping to be his best yet. The premise of a big scrap erupting while he's involved in a heist is standard Lobster territory but the setting is only the ground on which the crop of characters, maiming and nods to the camera is harvested.

Simon Spurrier’s other recent creation Harry Kipling has yet to do it for me, mostly because he seems to be trying too hard. Lobster on the other hand swaggers through the strip with cocky aplomb, casually snipping off his own limbs as he goes.

The roster of support characters is excellent with Rex the most out there 2000AD character in living memory. Carl Critchlow’s art is simply gorgeous with the final page a real treasure. At eight parts in counting some may say it’s being stretched somewhat, but frag them and keep ‘em coming.

Part 4 - Ops Brief

The Major tells us "the plot"

Synopsis: Back on the Battlecarrier James L Carter, Major Sheldon briefs the troops. She has identified the Loyalists as a militarised faction of Geeks behind the war on Earth. Even though the Apologists outnumber them, the Warrior caste has historically been the ruling class and the Apologists don’t have a leading figure of enough charisma to gather support. However, Sheldon has identified a politician – Gaek’rr as a potential Apologist leader. The VCs are charged with bringing him in alive.

Half a quadrant away, the Polity is meeting with a group of vicious warrior aliens. They hire Vaith Orcal and his crew to assassinate Gaek’rr and keep the war alive as their entertainment…

LP: Homage or travesty? The Polity are an unfortunately corporeal ghost in the machine. As a get-out clause, the idea that the Gods are controlling everything, used to great effect in Sinbad movies, doesn't work well here, as they seem to serve only as an excuse to move the plot along, without any verve of their own. The story of the troopers personal lives whilst involved in a destructive war with the Geeks, could have been told (and is entertaining whilst it's being told) without this extra layer of intervention.

The art is good, but it's another subdued palette, and a minimalist approach of sparse backgrounds. Perhaps it's unfair to judge it alongside the original series, but it seems natural to do so, and this is dull and lifeless in comparison.

SW: The revitalised VC’s have yet to really catch fire for me, but this episode with its conspiracy elements suggests better things may be to follow. It’s clearly a difficult gig for a writer. We liked them simply blasting Geeks, but to maintain this would bring accusations of laziness whereas changing things can bring cries of heresy!

The transition has been difficult and at sometimes dull. The necessary exposition means we get lots of scenes of briefings or people at podiums and they can only be so exciting. Developments this issue confirm that the Human/Geek war has been
orchestrated from the start and the sneaky warmongers are out to sabotage the impending peace. I can see this going the way of Rogue Trooper with the adversaries joining forces against a common foe. The idea doesn‘t really excite me and I don‘t really care for the characters. I have tried to like the strip as it was one of the major thrills that I started out on but it‘s really not doing it for me at present

There are some nice touches such as the James Earl Carter (President Jimmy Carter to you - a nod to Bolland's Mount Rushmore?) and the dialogue with it‘s Starship Troopers military speak is fine. The art is a bit too cartoony for my liking, and at times confusing - the top half of page three is a mess. A strategic withdrawal may be needed!

Con Artist- Part 6

Surprise! Or maybe not...

Synopsis: Aimee punches Cracker, believing him to be Blackbird. However, while her back is turned on Ronson Morse, he unsheathes a knife and attacks her, knocking her to the ground. Cracker tries to protect her, but Ronson holds him back, revealing himself as Blackbird. He said there was too much competition in his business, so he thought he’d use the convention as an excuse to get the other hitmen to wipe each other out. The convention list also gives him the opportunity to pick off the remainder at his leisure and make them scared of him again.

But Nixon realises that he’s the one who is scared, as the others were becoming a threat to him. Morse cuts the conversation short by gravely injuring Cracker. She can either save him or chase after Blackbird. She stays with Cracker…

LP: Excellent art on show here from Coleby with a super-dynamic fight sequence that just oozes absolute class from every frame and tells the story perfectly. Rather than read this review, just go back and drink it in some more, because it really deserves it.

This episode really picks up the pace, and there's a feeling that things have been coasting in parts two through five. Any shock the reader may have felt at the reveal of Blackbird may well have been ruined by more observant Squaxx merrily posting spoilers all over cyberspace, but those lucky people that remained unaware of his identity will have enjoyed this all the more.

In amongst all the action, we're also introduced to a potential love interest for Aimee Nixon, but then left on a cliff-hanger that suggests it may be a very short affair.

SW: This is another strip that can hold all the aces, but all do often comes up with a 2 7 off suit. This tale of hit men and double crosses has been going on for an age and I’m tossing a coin to see if it’s the art or the scripting that’s confusing me more.

To begin with the premise is weak. There is no way the world’s hit men would get together for a conference - don’t they watch James Bond?! What is the best they can expect? Not to get busted by the judges or whacked by a jealous rival? Add to this two of the poorest and ill resourced judges on the force who should get busted back to traffic after this lacklustre outing.

The ‘revelation’ that Ronson was Blackbird was lost on me - has he appeared before this series? They seem to talk of him in such hushed breaths that he’s the equivalent of Orlok, rather than some forgettable banana who’s as memorable as last Tuesdays lunch.

A poor outing from a team and cast that can do so much better - bring back the dirty one!

Katarina proves she can still take care of herself...

Synopsis:   Katarina Dante is held at gunpoint by D'arcy and seems to be at his mercy until a flaming zombie distracts him enough to allow Katarina to deliver the killing blow.

Meanwhile, Dante and Skarlett have knives at each other’s throats, but Skarlett backs down first.

Katarina is trapped on the flaming ship, and has to dive into the water to escape, and heads towards Dante, with Sharko following close behind. Katarina gets onto the ship just as Sharko bursts out of the water to deliver the killing blow. But Dante swings from the rigging and beheads Sharko with his bio blades. Dante and his mother are at a standoff, and Katarina ultimately backs down, giving Dante control of the fleet.

LP: "Please just shoot me now". A line which is also used by Dante's mum. This should be excellent, as it's got amazingly vibrant art from the always-excellent John Burns, some great dialogue, a nude beauty tied up in a compromising position and a strong attempt at a poignant closing scene, but it's difficult to enjoy something that is in many ways a shadow of its former self.

It's almost like a Dante reboot, where the actual story has been discarded in favour of this sprawling and incessant bickering between Dante and his mother. Dante in conflict with his one true love, Jena, was compelling, but him arguing with his mum just isn't. Think romantic epic vs. kitchen sink drama. This short arc, ending here, seems to promise a hoped return to form (although that's been said before). What's worrying, in context, is that the writer seems to be offering the same plot over various series (see recent Shimura and Shakara), in which a group of characterless ne'er do wells in gaudy costumes are introduced by some unseen narrator, quickly defeated in armed combat by the trusty hero, and the status quo is thereby maintained. In other words, nothing really happens. It's a bit like televised wrestling, and it feels just as fixed and vacant.

Whilst Dante literally jumps over a Sharko, he's also managed to behead him, and that might be a good omen.

SW: He came, he dropped his pants and he left - did I get that in the right
order?!

I’m not the biggest Dante fan, but this brief outing was fine, for what it was. Robbie ‘King of the super villain team up’ Morrison delivers his usual script with the baddies dispatched with the regular undue haste. Build them up and then kill them in one panel why don’t you!

The purpose of this three parter was undoubtedly to serve as a bridge between adventures, and as a consequence nothing of note actually happened. Dante’s relationship with his Mum is really dull with their unspoken love and respect obvious from the off - who really thought they’d shoot each other in that standoff!

John Burns’ painted artwork is nice to look at and the sex scene paid off well with a couple of funnies, but overall it couldn’t disguise it’s true form of being filler. I also dislike the book quotes at the start. It was Ok in ‘Watchmen’ and ‘Zenith’ but as a narration device I find it a bit tiresome.