2000AD Prog 1484 - 19 April 2006
	Judge Dredd (Wagner / Goddard) Lobster Random (Rennie / Critchlow) ABC Warriors (Mills / Flint) The 86ers (Rennie / Holden/ Blythe) Low Life (Williams / Coleby) Cover: Steve Roberts

Synopsis by Gavin Hanly
1st opinion by Floyd Kermode
2nd opinion by Robert Cornell

Summaries and reviews contain spoilers for this issue.

Cover Review

FK: Dear Tharg,

Why, Oh why, have you done this to Aimee Nixon, who is one of the best new characters you’ve introduced in recent years? I happen to know that she’s a feisty, independent person who thinks quickly and speaks quickly too. Here she looks like a saddened cockatoo impersonator who has fallen asleep in a bath tub full of green clothes dye whilst wearing a cheap leopard-skin dress. She seems to be hiding out while Venice sinks beneath a sea of orange blancmange behind her.

Actually, that description makes the cover sound like far more fun than it actually is, so I should add that the problem is that Aimee Nixon is fun and the cover is not.

Yours pickily (when it comes to covers)

Floyd

RC: Sometimes it’s interesting to see your favourite characters drawn by a different artist…sometimes not. Aimee looks, not surprisingly, a bit like Bec (or is that Cawl?) with an ugly squashed nose and bad hair. This is a basic “chick with gun” cover and leaves a great big space on the left for the “what’s inside” lettering.

Fitness Test

The Judges come down hard...

Synopsis: Dredd checks in on Judge Murdoch, who recently underwent a fitness report and believes that Dredd is there to make a final report on his ability to be a street judge.

While rounding up perps, Murdoch tells Dredd that he sometimes likes to find a quiet spot on Megway 38 to just think and wonders if Dredd does something similar. Dredd says there's a bay in sector 44 where he made some good busts - but Murdoch isn't sure if Dredd gets the point. They find a nude batglider and Murdoch misses on a tagging shot - after which Dredd advises him to use an incendiary on the wings next time. But Murdoch knows he's failed. Dredd tells him that there are desk options, but Murdoch wants to take the long walk instead.

The next day Dredd catches the batglider and tells control to credit the arrest to Murdoch - even though he's taken the long walk by that point. Dredd heads out to Megway 38 and finds some time to think...

FK: Dear Tharg,

I’m writing in to say how much I enjoyed ‘Fitness Test’, Mr Rennie’s latest Dredd effort. The art is competent, but what I really like about this story is that it avoids predictability. I’ve seen quite a few of Dredd’s graduating class take a bow over the years. So far it’s been mainly death from violence, but there have been quite a few senior Judges who have been given the heave-ho by Dredd due to their being corrupt, or otherwise breaking the law.

Once I found that Dredd’s mate was not on the take, hadn’t had a secret love affair and had not murdered a perp due to pent-up frustration, I expected Dredd to do what he did to McGruder; take him out for one last doomed battle. Instead, Murdoch just quietly took the long walk (by the way, now that it’s optional, how many Judges still choose that?) and Dredd, rather than moralising or holding forth, just went off to think a bit.

It’s a quiet story but one which consistently surprised me, so give the Rennie droid a pat on the back.

Yours affectionately,

Floyd

RC: Rennie has the Dredd character (or at least his version of him) nailed now and he can just about get away with raking over old material for a slight but affecting mood piece. For what it is, “Fitness Test” is fine but the shadow of “Origins” hangs heavily over Dredd’s world at the moment and everything else just seems to be filling time.

Williams obviously likes straight lines. Even his faces seem to have been drawn with a ruler. A lot of the panels are almost identical, perhaps inevitably given the material, but an occasional bit of background might have helped.

Random practices his art...

Despite this, lars tells all: The crew that attached and stole Redd has been doing the same thing across the galaxy and is led by the Master Don - whose real name is Rex Ferris - and has a 20 million cred bounty on his head. Lars can't understand why he told all - and Random reveals that he altered the icon to turn him into the "nekrohotti runic phallus of truth" so that he can't lie.

Random gets Lars to arrange a meeting with Ferris's goons, who arrive later. Jimmy the suit is a sentient pinstripe, Doris Demaggio is a Symbiotic plaguanism, Piston Charlie is a huge slaughterbot, the Mouth Brothers are strong arm brothers and Bendel Glass is a psychic psychotic. Random introduces himself... "Aloha"

FK: Dear Verdant Editorialiser,

I think you’ve gotten the settings on the Spurrier droid just right this week! Mr S’s powers of invention sometimes lead him to acts of cleverness which interfere with the story he’s telling, but not with Lobster Random and especially not in this week’s story.

In Lobster Random, he’s created a terrific character, one who should run and run. Spurrier wouldn’t thank me for saying this, but Random is such a good character that non-Spurrier droids could easily make good stories with him. Not that I’m suggesting you give the job to someone else. On the contrary, this week’s story shows just how finely tuned the Spurious one’s story telling and dialogue writing skills are. A lot of writers try the ‘tough guy’s interior monologue’ shtick (which I think dates back to Raymond Chandler). Often it’s over the top and not entertaining. Here it’s brilliant: “I’d feel bad about hiring these poverty stricken maniacs to lure away a group of indentured bodygolems in a suicidal raid – if they weren’t so fragging annoying”.

I also enjoy the challenges Lobster faces in torturing various un-torturable characters. Here we see him torture (or at least annoy) a piece of talking graffiti. Much more of the lobster please.

Yours looking for cybernetic lobster attachments on ebay,

Floyd

RC: I haven’t always been 100% convinced by Lobster Random; I think he may be a bit of a one trick pony. However, when that trick involves daubing smutty graffiti onto a hunk of talking rock to make it tell the truth, you can count me in.

With the preamble over, we can precede the main plot… a gang of super-baddies with funny names and amusing heads who will no doubt die in various interesting ways. This kind of thing is a staple for our medium but it seems to have been happening an awful lot lately. Fortunately, Spurrier and Critchlow make it a point of honour for their names and heads to be just that little further off the map than everybody else’s. Having our “hero” on the inside should be a nice twist. As always, the strongest aspect is Lobster’s narration, run through with killer lines and a delicious dry cynicism. Any strip featuring a man with a camera for a head can’t be all bad. Go figure, indeed.

I like Critchlow’s art very much, his eccentricities fit in beautifully with the story. The previously mentioned weirdoes on the last page are totally cool.

The Shadow Warriors - Book 3 - Part 9

Mongrol smush!

Synopsis: Warmonger and Mongrol face off against each other. Warmonger takes the cross from Mongrol that reminds him of his creator Lara and starts to insult her memory. This only pushes Mongrol into a blind rage and he rips Mongrol apart.

Dog Tag starts after Hammerstein and Mek Quake, but is taken down by Smart Bullets fired from within an oil tank. Joe Pineapples emerges, having been taught by Deadlock how to put himself into a suspended animation like death. He retrieves his trigger finger and gets back into the fray.

Just Bootleg is left as the inside-out Blackblood reunites with the other Warriors. But then, the sound drops and a huge tank armed with silencers crashes through the walls and appear to crush the warriors. Bootleg appears to be victorious on top of the tank...

FK: O Tharg,

Lo, what is is with Pat Mills? From reading Slaine and his various other works, I know he’s into magic and whatnot, as well as being a man of Ideas. While his Power hasn’t stopped me from being an Anglican, he seems to have cast an evil spell over the ABC warriors, which prevents me from ever not enjoying their stories. On Mills’ other stuff, I cast a cool critical eye and notice repetition, sermonising, holes in the plot and other problems. With the warriors, I read and enjoy. It’s that simple. Never mind that editorial droids complain publicly about how sloppy the script is. Never mind that the 2000ADonline message board erupts in disapproval. I read and enjoy. So thanks for yet another ABC warriors story which (big surprise) I read and enjoyed.

With the un-charmed part of my mind, I notice the following. The art on the story is completely bloody brilliant, as is usual with Henry Flint. Mills has fun with his made up swear-words; ‘biol’ and ‘bootleg’ are very successful and certainly better than his use of the word ‘funk’ in Invasion. The story rips along at a cracking pace. There is some nice humour (I love the embarrassed Blackblood being mocked for being half inside-out and snapping back “this from a droid who had snakes growing out of him”). I couldn’t for the life of me follow a lot of the story; who defeats who? How do they do it, if indeed they did? Did they all get squashed? Was Joe Pineapples just faking before?

Despite the hefty dose of both incoherence and ‘with one bound our hero was free’ in this week’s episode, I remain spell-bound and have no choice but to ask for more ABC Warriors please.

Yours looking up exorcists in his Church directory,

Floyd

RC: “Shadow Warriors” seems to have been running forever but I’m enjoying it immensely now I’ve stopped waiting for the plot to come along and make sense of it all. I was delighted to see the criminally under-used Blackblood getting some serious panel time last prog and Mongrel finally got to smush someone this week. Then the “twist” as Joe Pineapples wakes up (hands up everyone who thought he was actually dead… how long have you been reading comics?) Then they all get killed… Yeah, right. Sorry, it’s just that I don’t believe Mills has a surprise in him these days and I certainly haven’t forgotten about Steelhorn. This is a romp, pure and simple, and fun if you’re prepared to leave it on that level.

Flint does good robots, especially robots beating the crap out of other robots, which makes him perfect for the ABC warriors.

Also, I like the word “manufacker” and plan to use it in general conversation.

Touchdown - Part 5

Rafe out for the count...

Synopsis: The head of the 86ers explains to her crew that the 86ers' operation is very low profile on Millicom's radar and that she's still embarrassed at their latest failure. The Varr craft apparently destroyed the asteroid and 3 of the 86ers were also killed in the resulting explosions or from interference from the Varr's weapons - although not directly by the Varr themselves.

Rafe was rescued from the asteroid by Japeth. Sarris went to visit him afterwards to find out why - Japeth only tells him that "She still has things to do here". Her drone is fried and they can't get is started with their current technology. Rafe is still in a coma and sees a vision of Rogue reminding her that she has a mission to carry out.

We also discover that the 86ers have a creature just like that on the asteroid...

FK: Thargsta! Word up!

I have to admire your grit in having yet another go at the world of Rogue Trooper. Like the character in the Chumbawumba song, you get knocked down but you get up again (happily you don’t repeat yourself as much). I suppose you don’t have much choice, what with the Rogue game coming out soon.

I’ve enjoyed Rafe’s adventures so far, although her mechanical companion gets on my wick – I think its programmers turned the ‘cutesy dialogue’ setting up way too high. Someone has “fried it with an EMP beamer”, which is fine by me. Long may it stay fried.

This week I didn’t like so much as the plot just gets from one place to another and Rafe does nothing but have an encounter with Rogue whilst in a coma. The art is okay, it does the job. The story is heaving with interesting possibilities. Who is the enemy spy? What will happen with the gigantic pulsating thing the troops are working? What does the mysterious alien hybrid know about Rafe that we don’t? Hopefully we’ll have fun finding out the answers to these questions, this week we’re just getting there. I’m a glass half full kind of person, so I’m hoping the story will be more exciting next week.

Yours expectantly,

Floyd

RC: What, so they’ve got a giant monster thingy in the cellar now? What’s going on and why should I care? Rennie’s new thrill is becoming more and more complicated and less and less interesting by the week. A lethal combination for an action story. I forget what’s going on between panels. It’s not Synnamon bad, but it is bad.

Mr Adequate, PJ Holden, does another adequate job, except someone seems to have spilled some kind of blue liquid all over his nice clean artwork. It must be impossible to stamp your style on someone else’s leftovers and I’d like to think he will produce some good stuff, if and when he gets on at at the ground floor.

And bloody Rogue Trooper does a cameo, appearing for the first time in all of 22 pages. He must have a new book out or something.

Con Artist- Part 1

Aimee tries out a new look...

Synopsis: Aimee Nixon chases after one of her marks, finally revealing herself as an undercover judge - both of them dressed in costumes. He reaches inside his, and she opens fire - but afterwards realises that he was only going to offer her creds.

Later she meets up with Thora, who introduces her to Ronson Morse, an Justice Department informer - an unpleasant piece of work. He tells her that he's fond the location of a conference of the world's best hitmen on a messageboard and that "Blackbird" will be appearing.

So, Aimee teams up with Morse and they visit the Hotel Bilderberg, supposed location of the conference. After saying the supposed password, the staff at reception pull guns on Aimee and Morse...

FK: Dear Tharg,

More ‘Low Life’ in an issue which also has Lobster Random? You’re spoiling us! Nice art from the Coleby droid too. Here, Aimee Nixon is in her usual ‘pissed-off and sassy’ mode, which I would be too if I’d had a cover picture like that. For me, this story is all about fun, much more so than your ostentatiously ‘this is funny’ stories such as the deeply un-funny Bec and Kawl. I was a little baffled by the opening chase scene in stupid animal costumes and still can’t work out why Aimee’s boss is wearing a cape. Is it because her cover involves being deranged?

Whatever, it’s funny and this ripping yarn gets going right away, armed with loads of plot and cleverness. It begins with a pun and ends with cleverness about movie titles. I think your readers who have been to comic conventions will appreciate the ‘con’ aspect of the story.

It’s odd, the way that characters in the far far future like to reminisce about cultural stuff that’s important to us right now. The only alternative is for the writer to invent some icon, say, fifty years in the future, for them to reminisce over (this is the kind of thing Alan Moore, aka Dirty Frank does), which will be hit and miss. Anyway, the story is off to a good start so thanks. Please ask Alan Moore to put on the Dirty Frank suit and get into the next episode.

Yours fannishly,

Floyd

RC: This could be an important phase for Low Life. An instant hit with wonderful characters and a fresh set-up, it has all the ingredients to be one of the greats. Except for strong overall story arc, like Caballistics or The Simping Detective. Without one, it could become repetitive like Sinister Dexter did.

That’s all in the future, for the present we have an object lesson in first episode design from Williams. “Con Artist” hits the ground running, literally, with a chase, some violence and a couple of snappy lines. Aimee seems genuinely upset at Jose’s death. This is a nice insight into life in the Wally Squad; they must be forced to kill people they’ve grown to like on a regular basis. Williams’ storytelling is lean and sharp and the exposition is done and dusted in a page and a half so there’s time for the “to be continued” set-up for next week.

My only quibble is Ronson Morse. He looks suspiciously like a comedy sidekick to me, Ukko in an anorak. Would the Justice Department really send a cit on a dangerous undercover mission? Surely a good slapping and some cube time for withholding evidence would have been in line with official policy.

Coleby’s art is a joy. You only have to look at the cover to see how much less effective Low Life would be without him.