2000AD Prog 1481 - 15 March 2006
	Judge Dredd (Edginton / Yeowell) Future Short (Ewing/Garbett) Harry Kipling: Deceased (Spurrier / Cook) ABC Warriors (Mills / Flint) Bec n Kawl (Spurrier/ Roberts) 86ers (Rennie / Richardson) Cover: Steve Roberts

Synopsis by Gavin Hanly
1st opinion by David Knight
2nd opinion by Mike Nye

Summaries and reviews contain spoilers for this issue.

Cover Review

DK: I don’t much care for this one. The only reason it even looked like 2000AD to me was that I recognise it as a 2000AD style of art. I knew the story it referred to, and I know whereabouts in WH Smith to find 2000AD, even when it’s on the shelf back-facing and upside down.

Someone else can do the cover criticism: I buy 2000AD every week without fail whatever is on the cover, and I’m not bothered what’s on it. I just know that this isn’t going to be my favourite cover of the year.

MN: For me, this is one of the best covers of the year. I could have lived without the design droid's crap puns, and covering the logo is always a personal niggle of mine, but other than that it's a winner. Steve Roberts has managed to make Sardonicus look genuinely creepy without sacrificing any of hi trademark cartoony style. The colouring works brilliantly, too.

Heist - Part 2

The perps lose their heads

Synopsis: Dredd thinks that the three rogue judges are planning a third heist - so they had one each. He leads a squad of judges to their most likely target and indeed it seems as if they've got it right as they track down and kill the perps.

But Dredd thinks they've been had and feels it was too easy, so gets MAC to check some more targets, cross referenced with failed cadet judges.

Sure enough, he comes up with a hit and tracks the three rookies, Leon, Imber and Cyprus to a vault. The three failed cadets surround him and close in for the kill, but at the last moment, Dredd drops to the floor and kills them all with one ricochet shot. "Class dismissed!"

DK: I have enjoyed this very old-fashioned Dredd two-parter quite a lot. Despite the foregrounding of issues about Dredd getting a bit old for all the running around and hand-to-hand combat and not healing as quickly as he used to, the plot harks back to Dredd’s early cases in which there seemed to be only a few judges who all knew each other by name, and Dredd couldn’t go five paces without someone calling out “good morning, Judge”, so parochial was the society he lived in, regardless of the writers’ insistence that Mega-City One is a sprawling metropolis of the future with a population nearing a billion.

The eccentricity of the stories still shows itself semi-regularly, although the work of signposting a future society with bat gliders, zooms, iso-cubes, fatties, simps, etc. is now so complete that we tend to note their absence more than their presence. Thus, Edginton and Yeowell’s Mega-City One looks unfamiliar to us, with its retro 20th Century fashion, vehicles and rain capes, and the unnecessarily taunting crimes of the perps, after the manner of Batman’s adversaries or Dredd’s old foe Benji Doonan, The Invisible Man.

I enjoyed the first part more than the second, and while the holographic combat simulator on page one was a clever sleight of hand (surely Dredd hadn’t caught up with the perps this quickly?), it was confusing and didn’t really help the story. The ending was exceedingly dumb. I don’t know what Judge tutor taught those former cadets to circle their enemy with guns. I was half expecting them to shoot each other in the crossfire when Dredd ducked, but the way he dispatched them all with a single ricochet shot was equally disappointing.

Clever how Dredd calculated the angles and trajectories, and that’s one thing that shows this isn’t really one of Dredd’s early cases. In the old days he would always get winged by the ricochet that killed the perp, and make some comment about it being worth the cost.

MN: I'm a fan of Steve Yeowell's work on The Red Seas, but it doesn't seem to click here. It's not bad artwork by any means, but it doesn't seem to work as well in Dredd's ultra-modern world as it does the swashbuckling strip. I'm also not convinced by the colouring; Yeowell's work seems to be more suited to monochrome, in my opinion.

Likewise, Ian Edginton's story is not the worst Dredd ever served up, but it does seem a trifle formulaic: evil moustache-stoking villains (why doesn't anyone give their villains moustaches to stroke these days?) who set out to kill/embarrass Dredd and become stinking rich/amass untold power; Dredd 'isn't as young as he used to be'; Dredd figures out the perps game; perps fail to shoot Dredd on sight; Dredd takes out perps with relative ease.

Now, there's nothing particularly wrong with sticking to a theme, and there's nothing particularly wrong with this story, but two installments isn't really enough to make me care about the perps who are eventually offed, so the ending feels more than a little flat for my liking. And wouldn't it be nice to show that Dredd really isn't as young as he used to be by having the perps embarrass him and get away?

Future Shorts - Doom - Dream of Destiny!

Synopsis: Colonel Drake Danger saves humanity by placing himself in the path of the brain destroying beam, but is trapped in a nightmare where he thinks he failed in his mission...

DK: Given the confines of a 7-panel story, the team of Al Ewing and Lee Garbett do a good job of getting across a terrible misapprehension. The page layout doesn’t successfully keep hold of the suspense though, as the reader’s eye almost inevitably takes in the whole page at a glance, so that you realise there is more going on than meets the eye in the first and second panel. What you’re left with is a story in which by the second panel the main character thinks he’s failed, but the reader knows he hasn’t; the mystery that remains is why he is so convinced he has failed. Ah – so he put his spaceship in the path of the aliens’ hallucino-ray. So, that was it then. And now humanity’s saviour has been driven mad; and in a tragic twist of irony, he doesn’t realise he saved everyone.

BUT there’s one more twist in store – not only does the hero not know he succeeded, but the military officers and doctors observing him don’t know that he doesn’t know he succeeded, and they’re falsely consoling themselves with the erroneous belief – reinforced by his disconsolate repetition of the words “I did it” - that he does know he succeeded!

But that’s life, eh, folks? The Earth is safe, and that’s the main thing. Still, that’s a lot of reversals to get into a single page while still playing it straight. Kudos to Al and Lee, and let’s hope we see a lot more of this kind of thing.

MN: Colonel Drake Danger? Brilliant! Straying from the point a little, I heartily recommend to anyone and everyone that you read a copy of the excellent Yes Man by Danny Wallace (the guy that accidentally started a cult and formed his own country from his flat). In it, Danny submits the most cheesily clichéd piece of sci-fi I've ever read to a publishing house. It's hilarious, but I can't help but think that Danny missed the boat by calling his protagonist Tex McBellamy. Colonel Drake Danger is much more cheesily clichéd!

Having seen a little of Al Ewing's other work, I'm fairly certain that the author is having some fun here (well,it is either that, or I'm inadvertently savaging the poor man's work…), and I happily chuckled along with him. Drake Danger indeed! Lee Gambit's crisp, clean artwork is a pleasure, too.

Mad Gods & Englishmen - Part 1

The gods are crazy...

Synopsis: Neesha relives her war experiences on her own planet, ruled by a mad god. She wakes up from her dream into the present, in a ship that she has stolen which has just landed on another planet. Neesha gets out for a look as a flying piece of rubble destroys the ship behind her.

She decides to check out the new planet and sees the people fleeing in terror from their own mad alligator god. Muttering to herself "Your god's insane too" it turns out that everyone, including the mad god, hears her. He is about to squash her out of existence when something blows his hand off and he beats a hasty retreat.

Harry Kipling has arrived and offers to get rid of their god problem once and for all...

DK: A new strip will always benefit from a sense of fun, a very good artist, and a main character that will make readers want to read on just to see what he/she will do next; and Harry Kipling (deceased) has got all three.

This first chapter after the prologue didn’t start well for me, as it does that familiar trick of throwing the reader in at the deep end with all the clues as to what’s going on and saying “there – now you work it all out for yourself”. In this case, at least we’ve got enough to go on; but it’s not always easy! Okay, so here we’ve got a woman who’s a sergeant in a war with corporeal and supernatural combatants, presumably on both sides, where the sudden appearance of gods is only unexpected because they didn’t phone ahead to say they were coming.

It’s odd to be following Sergeant Neesha’s mishaps as she crashlands on a planet terrorised by an Egyptian crocodile God when he hardly know her and it’s Harry Kipling (deceased) we’ve all come to see. However, by page 3 I’d got to like her well enough and I’d got a measure of what was going on, and Sobek was causing enough mayhem to keep it entertaining until the hero arrived.

Twice now we’ve seen Harry Kipling (deceased) make his entrance at the end of an instalment, and it has worked well so far. I don’t know what this character is going to be like centre stage in large doses, but as a cameo in his own series he’s a breath of fresh air. Rampaging gods treating their followers as wanton boys treat mere insects (killing us for their sport) need to be taken out with light artillery if at all possible. I can’t see a great deal of depth to Harry Kipling (deceased), but it shouldn’t be about that.

Although it seems to me superfluous that the main character is a zombie, it seems fitting that newer readers unfamiliar with Ace Garp should have their own version of GBH (Dead). I don’t care that Harry Kipling (deceased) slays gods; what’s important to me is that he does it as a standard bearer for old-fashioned wrong-headed colonialism, with a pitch helmet, an elephant gun, a stiff upper lip and (stereo)typical English superiority.

I approve.

MN: Following the intriguing preview episode, Harry Kipling hits the ground running here. Everything from Boo Cook's freaky artwork, to Simon Spurrier's even freakier storyline works perfectly. Humour, action, boobies, crocodile gods, labret piercing's and gentleman zombies in pringle socks. What more could a boy ask for? Except for more of the same, of course.

The Shadow Warriors - Book 3 - Part 6

Hammerstein loses some more of his dignity..

Synopsis: Lovebomb tries to rouse his clones and prepare them for another assault on the Warriors. But they are listless and gradually turn on Lovebomb, having been given free will by Deadlock. They rip Lovebomb to pieces and head out of town.

Meanwhile, Hammerstein's operation has completed and the Shadows send him off to regroup with his own side, warning him that if he reveals his predicament to the Warriors, the snakes will turn on him instead. Hammerstein heads straight for Deadlock, hoping he'll be able to work out what to do. However, he finds Deadlock sacrificing the remaining humans to Medusa, refusing to tell Hammerstein exactly what he's up to...

DK: Don’t look for logic, consistency or even much by way of a plot here, you’ll be wasting your time. You just need to relax a bit, and chill out, man. This is bonkers, barmy fun; it’s just comics, after all! Robots with guns and all kinds of crazy shit, you know?

The ABC warriors came back, making a big entrance, for a face off against an equal number of cool lacking baddie robots, each with its preferred type of amazing bullet. Both sides shot at each other, and some robots took hits; and then they stopped shooting at each other for a bit and decided to withdraw to a safer distance. Some may or may not already be dead. The combat, like much else about this story besides, hasn’t made a great deal of sense; but the main thing here is that it’s fun to read and it’s drawn with fantastic flair by fan favourite Henry Flint.

Pat Mills throws ideas all over the place likes confetti, and whilst some, like Doc Maniacus’s natotech snakes (what the hell are they??), are pretty dopey, there is such an imagination at work here that a spark of brilliance will burst into roaring flame every few pages even in the midst of the most nonsensical situation. The best bits this week were Mister Lovebomb’s clones turning on him, and Hammerstein helplessness to stop Deadlock torturing the Confederate Officers.

MN: In Prog 1479 I was worried that this strip was going to become just too damned silly. Robots with their shirts off? Snakes that eat robot's brains? Come again? Well, now that's no longer a problem. Not that Pat Mills' writing has pulled back from the edge of complete lunacy. No, the strip really is just too damned silly, it's just that in prog 1480 I stopped worrying about it and started enjoying it for what it was: complete and utter barking madness.

More of the same here, as Deadlock talks a load of old rollocks about draining clones brains of liquid courage, and the Malevolent Seven descend to new levels of moustache-stroking, campy villainhood– "Deserters, eh? Good for them!" and Doc Maniacus cheerily waving Hammerstein off while warning him again about the brain eating snakes are two great moments in the space of just four panels (and, joy of joys, we have a villain with an actual moustache here).

Henry Flint's art continues to be lovely beyond words. This is the fourth time I've read the prog, and I'm still picking things up, such as Dealock's shadow on the wall of the Biol Bunkhouse in the first panel.

Freakshow - Part 5

The clown reveals his evil "plan"...

Synopsis: Nadia throws herself in front of the knife before it hits Kawl - but she's immune to harm. Meanwhile, Bec's new friends destroy the parts of themselves that Sardonicus stole and ascend from their bodies, telling Bec that the secret of eternal life is simply "Don't die".

Nadia tells Kawl that the clown controls her with her stolen heart which he currently holds and the only way to defeat Sardonicus is to make him laugh. Bec, arriving on the scene, manages to achieve this by throwing offal at Kawl, which puts the clown into hysterics. But at the crucial point, she runs out of ammo, leaving Nadia with only one option - she picks up her heart that Sardonicus has dropped and throws it at Kawl knocking him down. It's the last straw and Sardonicus explodes.

After the explosion, Kawl remembers nothing, not even where the dried up, broken heart at his feet came from. Bec & Kawl head off back to "normality"...

DK: I’m not a fan of Bec & Kawl. I liked their first episode. I liked their first series, up to a point (wasn’t that the one where one of their university professors was trying to kill them, or something?). I didn’t like the one with the slugs and the Frenchman who couldn’t speak French, and it has kind of gone down hill from there, really.

Mind you, the one with the gang of mystics was good: Morpheus, Slough Feg, the boy wizard and that swamp monster… but I can’t remember how it ended. Then that one where the Devil takes a holiday seemed okay, until the evil mastermind was revealed in an un-topical satire that didn’t make sense because she’s not likely to go to Hell before she dies. Then there was that thing with the alien shape-changers, which had its moments, to be fair, but I'm not sure whether I liked the thing as a whole or not.

So, at last, to their latest serial, in which Kawl falls in love with a Succubus and Bec… gets locked up by some clowns in a cage full of vampires, I suppose.

I liked the first episode, and I thought this might turn out to be the story that won me over to the Bec & Kawl supporters’ camp. Unfortunately, it didn’t. I liked the Nadia/Kawl romance: Nadia’s cute and reminds me of a girl I used to know, and I like to see people happy and in love. The stand-up clown performance was interesting, and seemed to make time stand still, but in a good way. For a moment it was like being there in the Big Top, hoping the guy will get a laugh. Yes, he got my sympathy. I didn’t think his material was really all that bad. But then what happened next, and what the bad guys’ motivation was sort of passed me by.

So, in the concluding part, Bec’s new vampire chums escape captivity and make a run for it, Kawl is tethered to a knife-thrower’s target (jealousy – is that what the evil clown’s motivation is?), and lots of offal gets thrown about, and slapstick proves to be the clown’s undoing because that’s what tickles his funny bone, and being made to laugh is his kryptonite. Why is that, then? Never mind.

Anyway, poor Nadia bites the dust, as the only offal she can find to finish the job is her own heart, which she removes in an illustration just 1.8cm in height, for crystal clarity of storytelling. Obviously there weren’t enough guts and organs lying around at her feet and she had to improvise quickly. Maybe it was tragedy and not comedy that was the clown’s deadly weakness after all? Who knows, or even cares? So the last page does nothing for me, except hold out the possibility that at some point in the future, the two leads might get it on in the sack, which cheers me up a bit, because I’m such a perv.

MN: Nadia really should've let Kawl die, y'know? I mean, wearing a skeleton t-shirt might have a certain geeky charm (please note that I said might – it almost certainly doesn't) but anyone that wears a full skeleton outfit out of doors, well, being impaled with a throwing knife's too good for 'em.

As for the story, well its had its moments. Kawl's perma-grin in prog 1479 in particular. I know quite a few people hate it, but I generally find B&K to be light-hearted and entertaining enough, and Steve Roberts' art is consistently good, and sometimes excellent. As light-hearted, two-to-four episode filler, it works.

Touchdown - Part 2

GIs - always showing off...

Synopsis: Rafe is taken on a tour around the Citadel, and introduced to the crew. She's told that there are indigenous species on the citadel, the Varr, but they keep to themselves. She's also told that there is a Nort agent somewhere on the Citadel and they've got a book open on who it might be - Rafe is started at 80-1. She's also told that the Norts that she met earlier hate the new guards in the Nort camp more than the Southers so crossed sides.

Elsewhere, one of the crew, Montuezm is looking into Rafe's background and thinks she might be up to something - and is ready to set up an "accident" if necessary.

Elsewhere again, a Nort is ripped apart by what looks like insane members of his own crew...

DK: Here we go again with more future war, in space. The first part of this new series was fine, right enough; and even if it has got a blue-skinned G.I. clone in it, at least she’s not Rogue Trooper. Or Venus Bluegenes. Having re-read the story for review, there doesn’t seem to be much to this new G.I., Rafaella Blue, but I had inadvertently read a bit of tetchiness and understated anger into her character which I couldn’t detect at all second time around. Maybe that’s because Gordon Rennie and Karl Richardson have done a good job of building up the tension in this story, leading me to project things onto the main protagonist that I was actually reading off her surroundings.

The little ant-like aliens were a nice touch, and I’ll like them even more if some future plot point doesn’t hinge on their help or mere presence in the Citadel. But if they were important to the plot, I could live with it: it’s what Gerry Finley-Day would’ve done, after all, and that was always good enough for me. I like the alien in the bar, which helps favourable comparisons of Karl Richardson’s artwork to Kevin O’Neill’s. Between Henry Flint and Karl Richardson there’s a good showing of spiky artwork this Prog, which is nice to see.

The Nort deserters were an odd sight, but an interesting story ingredient that may add something to the flavour of coming chapters. The base’s security force having it in for the hero may be overdoing things a bit much, but seeing what’s happening overall, with a traitor, Nort deserters, mean-looking aliens in the bar, insect aliens in the tunnels and hostile security guards, I’ll say “the more the merrier”. It’s like a whodunit with plenty of suspects, but ‘it’ hasn’t been ‘dun’ yet.

The last page threw me completely, I must say: Nort zombies breaking through a bulkhead door, either breaking in or breaking out. My money’s on breaking in, judging by the state of the fellow raising the alarm. The first panel on that last page tells us this is taking place ‘elsewhere’, but isn’t more specific. I’m presuming now that it doesn’t mean elsewhere on the Citadel; but the first time read it, it easily could have been. I don’t think it would have harmed the suspense any for the narration box to have given us a bit more information. I liked this a lot better reading it the second time around.

MN: Why do I get the feeling that I'm reading Mr Wallace's sci-fi submission again? The future war, the team of misfits, the grumpy commander, the bad guys (or kind-of-good guys in this case) that all look exactly the same, even attractive, feisty, non-human female. Yes, we've seen all of this many, many, many times before.

Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that the story is going to be awful. There's plenty of scope to write interesting characters, play with clichés or pull the rug from under the reader who thinks they've seen it all before. Indeed, I'll happily enjoy a melodrama with two-dimensional characters, as long as it's a good melodrama. Whether this strip will or won't rise above its derivative set-up remains to be seen, but there are some little touches – the commander's cigar smoke trick not working due to Rafaella's enhanced genetics – that give me hope for the coming episodes.

Karl Richardson's grainy artwork looks a little too much like it belongs on a heavy metal album cover for my liking, but that's just a personal quibble; it's technically very good, and suits the feel of the story.