2000AD Prog 1472 - 25 January 2005
	Judge Dredd (Wagner / Goddard) Caballistics Inc. (Rennie / Reardon) Slaine (Mills / Langley) The Ten-Seconders (Williams / Harrison) Strontium Dog (Wagner / Ezquerra) Cover: Nick Percival

Synopsis by Gavin Hanly
1st opinion by Floyd Kermode
2nd opinion by Nick Margerrison

Summaries and reviews contain spoilers for this issue.

Cover Review

FK: How this cover appeals very much depends on how much history you have with 2000AD. For me, it’s a delight because I’ve always liked Nik Percival’s work and the Ennis story he did, ‘Goodnight Kiss’, a classic which was made all the more so by Percival’s dark, sensuous art.

So to me, the cover is Hannah Chapter looking more like a real person than ever before, at just the time when I’ve forgiven the character her annoying debut and come to love the story. For someone who was coming to 2000 AD for the first time, I think the reaction would be something like “it’s a tree woman, and another woman holding a gun looking a little frightened. So what?”

NM: Nick Percival’s cover doesn’t really do it for me here. As an image on its own it looks nice, with the logo and graphics over the top it looks a bit “meh”. There’s some nice detail in it but I’m starting to forget it as I write this.

Your Beating Heart - Part 4

The Surgeon starts to feast...

Synopsis: Dredd and the other judges hear the sound of "your beating heart" drifting down the road. They track it to an apartment, but it's too late as the Surgeon has already killed his latest victim and is eating her heart. He's arrested and later interrogated. He tells the judges that he can't resist the urge to drink blood and killed a number of people to satisfy his cravings.

Dredd walks him through the killings and the killer, Brophy, admits to all of them until he gets to Jonas Clay, the vagrant found in a trash dump. Brophy says that wasn't him and he assumed the judges were trying to flush him out. The lie detector backs up his story - but they found his DNA on the body. PSU also discovers that he was at a concert at the time of the killing and couldn't possibly have committed the crime...

FK: How do I love thee, Beating Heart? Let me count the ways. A good long Dredd story, after far too many short ones. An engaging plot. Until now, we’ve just been watching Dredd catch a psycho but now there’s a great twist unfolding. Please note my definition of “a great twist” is that I don’t know what’s going to happen next. People who are better at puzzle solving than me might not be so satisfied. Art and story telling in same are terrific, very well suited to the story. The script is a joy to behold.

‘Your Beating Heart’ is John Wagner at his most minimal – not much talking or emoting, just good writing. The theme song, characteristically a Country song, is the most colourful touch so far. Of course there’s the blood and gore, laid on pretty thick here. I wouldn’t want Dredd to be like this all the time, but it’s good both as a cool, minimal story and as a contrast with Dredd’s wacky humour stories and extravagant epics.

NM: Firstly what really sticks out for me in this part of “Your Beating Heart” is the fantastic artwork and colours. This is great storytelling. I love the full page reveal where Brophy is caught in the act by the judges, the overhead shots of Dredd and Williams on their way to catch him and then the lovely green ambience of the interrogation scene.

As for the actual story, it’s well told and certainly very ‘dark’ but I’m of the opinion that this character has had his day. The pitch for Dredd is great right up until we’re told: “Toughest of them all is Judge Dredd”. Give me a break. Woo, he’s tough! Like Batman and Superman! How exciting. I don’t read 2000AD to see superheroes in spandex. My enjoyment of these stories is always held back by the fact I know Dredd’s of that genre.

Changelings - Part 4

Hannah bags herself a goatboy...

Synopsis: Professor Brand searches through records from the ages and finds a number of people from different times who appear to have had the same initials and same writing style as Ethan Kostabi.

Meanwhile, Hannah Chapter is crawling through a hole in the ground and falls into an underground cave. she sees what appears to be a "goatboy" and shoots it with a taser before it can escape. She tries to reach Verse on her phone, but hears only recited poetry on the line. A voice tells her to release "Puck" as he meant no harm. The voice is coming from a woman who appears to be apart of the earth and who makes the roots take hold of Chapter - "...you do not recognise that you are in the presence of royalty?"

Back at the manor, Ravne shows Jenny a birthing tank which he says was built by his father. On the side is the inscription "Elim Kottler"...

FK: I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but this one reminds me of the old Dr Who stories, in which the characters would always split up, have disparate adventures and then reunite for a showdown and to say rueful things about whatever it was happened to them. Coincidence or not, it works here; there’s a creepy mystery or two unfolding and the action referred to on the cover.

The three plots which are going on are all interesting. Of course, with three sub-plots on five pages, not a lot actually happens this week, but we’re set up well for next week's prog, which is as things should be. What’s in the creepy tank? What will the tree-woman do? What’s the meaning of the mysterious signature and how much Elizabethan poetry does Gordon Rennie plan to subject us to? All will be revealed and I can’t wait.

NM: I’m still waiting to be converted to Caballistics Inc. It always seems like a good idea and then at the end I’m often left wondering what the point was. At this stage in proceedings I’d be hard pressed to praise or slate it as there seems to be a lot of exposition going on with ‘action’ thrown in for good measure.

I find Hannah to be a really irritating character. I have no idea how I’m supposed to react to lines like this: “take one step closer, and his new name’s gonna be sparky the cloven hooved Christmas tree”. Impressed by her wit? Awed by her cool cynicism?

The artwork does a job, as does the story but it’s nothing I’d get too excited about just yet. That said, it’s not awful. Maybe I’ll be eating these words next prog…

Carnival - Part 5

Slaine finishes things off...

Synopsis: Estella is confronted by Black Crom Dubh. He suggests that she knows who tried to kill her with Dragon's Breath when she was young and pursues her through the forest. He knocks her unconscious, but is met by Slaine, who attacks with Brainbiter.

A fight ensues and although Slaine takes a big chunk out of Crom, he appears to do no harm to him and instead knocks Slaine to the ground, taking his axe from him. As he prepares to deal a killing blow, Slaine protects himself by holding out gold. Crom calls out his name and retreats on his horse.

Estella later says she still doesn't remember who tried to kill her, and Slaine thinks Crom wasn't acting alone. Slaine says they should get her away from the carnival - as soon as Kai has done his work for the night. Hinky Punk, the burning man goes on stage as his corpse candles prepare to hover over those who are about to die...

FK: “Everywhere there is cause for confusion” says Black Crom as he wordily torments one of the tattooed lovelies who infested prehistoric Ireland. It could be a motto for a lot of the recent Slaine and especially for this episode. What started off as a Pat Mills whodunnit (in which I expected to find that the killer was Colonel Mustard with the Dragon’s Breath in the billiard room) has turned into……umm, I’m not sure really. A mishmash of fighting with assorted Evil Deities and Ukko’s carnival. Murky art. The usual starchy fighting talk. I don’t have a problem with lines like “with my axe, great harshness is not unusual” but here they throw the poverty of the rest of the script into relief.

Like Caballistics, Slaine tries to have a few things going on at the same time. In Caballistics it works. Here it just adds to the confusion.

How clever of Mills to find an ancient sounding Burning Man! I’ll just bet he’s done all sorts of research about the carnival aspects of the story. Apart from that… everywhere there is cause for confusion, but not in a good way.

If you’ve not read 2000AD for a few years because you think comic strips are old hat, go out and buy this issue now. You’ll be instantly drawn in. This strip alone would make me keep my subscription going, even if the rest of the comic were full of Popeye and Hero Turtles reprints. I’d still buy it.

The American Dream - Part 5

Malloy strikes back...

Synopsis: As the ship nears the American coast, Willis, the ship's pilot who used to be a radio DJ appears to becoming unhinged. He warns that they're low on fuel as Malloy heads back to see how Harris is doing with his weapon to fight the Gods. Harris says it'll eventually work Jennifer appears with her arm in a sling - their guest warns her that she needs to rest it. He also looks through Malloy's book and begins to mock Malloy who strikes out at him in response. Malloy reminds The Scientist that they were the ones who saved him just as they almost crash in the water - after Willis nods off for a moment...

In America, one of the Gods, Watchtower, a winged man chained to the ground, tells the others that a craft is inbound. Hero tells Mach to "greet them" and rewards Watchtower with a few more links on his chain.

Back in the ship, they have finally reached the coast as they her a loud "boom" getting closer. The Scientist says he knows what the sound is - "They're coming..."

FK: Speaking of mystery, I’m still in the dark about this one. I mean, I don’t know what’s doing to happen and I don’t know if the story will turn out to be a 2000AD classic or a well-intentioned dud. In part this is not Williams and Harrison’s problem, as I still haven’t read the first episode and may be missing out on something crucial.

However, that aside, it seems to have not taken off yet. I really really want this story to achieve lift-off, because it’s quite a new thing for Tharg to try. The whole story has a very late 90s feel to me (super beings turn bad). The characters are still one dimensional, although they are being shown gradually and indirectly which is good. It’s possible that they’re three dimensional characters we haven’t seen much of.

The real interest in The Ten Seconders so far is in the setting; how did the US get destroyed, who are the ‘gods’ really, how can they be defeated and so on. Also, does the head bad guy really have to speak in such a pretentious font?

I’m still living in hope here. In itself, that’s a good thing. I’ve usually come to a decided verdict by now. We shall see.

NM: Well, this is clearly genius. A witty take on the current zeitgeist, lovely artwork, interesting characters and a sense of genuine tension as the story unfolds. Harrison’s art is reminiscent of Frank Miller’s but with added detail and expression. Williams’s writing is note perfect. I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes next.

I also enjoy the added detail of switching the fonts for the lettering. I’ve long thought they should do this more often in comics. It adds a distinctive ‘voice’ to the characters. I’d like to see writers experiment with this device more often.

My only slight criticism would be the sound effects. They feel unnecessary in places and hold it up a bit. It’s only a minor niggle on an otherwise great story.

A Shaggy Dog Story - Part 5

No Bones flushes away...

Synopsis: Wulf and Alpha return to the ship with the newly freed Shaggy in tow, only to find that No Bones has escaped. He manages to get into the toilet before Alpha can use the electronux.

Alpha takes the ship off planet to avoid the authorities and tells the others to search the ship. Shaggy meets up with the princess, and it becomes clear that he's told her even more stories about him being an Earth hero.

No Bones makes contact and threatens to pour water in the Synchron drive - a drop of which shakes the ship - more will destroy it. They have no choice and have to take the escape capsule, letting No Bones go free. They drift, waiting for a pick up, while Shaggy continues to spin his stories...

FK: A real fizzer of an ending to a fairly flat story here. I’ve always been a Strontium Dog fan and the comebacks have been brilliant, seeming to have come from some sort of time capsule of past thrills (although I miss the Gronk and wonder when Wulf stopped using the word ‘cucumber’ in every other sentence). Here, however, I wonder if the Dogs don’t need more of a rest between returns.

I loved the idea of the planet of the bald and seeing Johnny, Wulf and Shaggy shave themselves. I like ‘no-bones Jones’ as a pretty typical funny mutant bad guy. That said, he’s pretty feeble as an opponent and there’s something wrong about him foiling Alpha so easily. The ending of the story suggests a lack of ideas for this one. There is nothing terribly wrong with it, but not much right about it either. The main joke, Shaggy’s various lies about his heroism to the Princess and his further lies to cover up for the original deceptions, starts stale and doesn’t get any fresher.

On the good side, the art is a delight as usual and Ezquerra is definitely The Goods for bald people, good looking princesses and amorphous bad guys.