2000AD 1403 - 18 August 2004
Cover by Cliff Robinson

Synopsis and 1st review by Gavin Hanly
2nd opinion by Richmond Clements

Summaries and reviews contain spoilers for this issue.

GH: Tackling a Strontium Dog cover is something of a risky maneuver for any artist other than Carlos Ezquerra. He has made the characters so much his own, that the fans have started to become hyper critical about anyone else who touches them. So it's extremely pleasing to see Cliff Robinson turn in such a pitch perfect "Dogs" cover this week.

Unlike many other artists, he's captured the characters of Wulf and Johnny perfectly, and in an impressive feat has managed to make Headly Foot look exactly like he does as rendered by Ezquerra on the main story. Little touches like Wulf eyeing Headly's foot are wonderful, as is the image of Johnny trying to keep the two apart. An excellent cover.

RC: Nobody draws an Alpha like Carlos, we all know this to be one of the ultimate truths. But, by grud, Robinson comes a close second in my book.

Big Deal at Drekk City - Part 4

Dredd gets ready to throw the book at them...

Synopsis: Dredd shoots one of the Shamazon and warns the other players that he'll take most of them with him if they attack - but offers them a peaceful way out. Meanwhile Vance is on place on the casino roof, but is under attack. Dredd stalls for time, starting a speech about how the cards remind him of various aspects of the law "When I see the ace, I am reminded that there is one true law - and I am that law." He gradually starts eliminating the gang members while he talks and the others are too scared to take him on.

On the roof, Vance is wounded badly, but the cadets have come back for her. They ask her to give them permission to help Dredd, but she doesn't. They'll fail if they disobey her, but feel they have no choice - and go to help Dredd anyway...

GH: Wagner continues to pull a fast one on us, and he really is showing a complete renaissance in his Dredd writing at the moment. Last week's episode might have led us to expect Dredd to start playing cards in order to stop the gangs (hell - he manages to win a 3 day staring contest in the latest Metro Dredd - cards would have been easy). But Wagner decides not to take that easy way out, instead giving us a highly entertaining Dredd monologue as he lectures the perps on the law, using the pack of cards as a teaching tool. This is very funny indeed, with Dredd coming up with some inventive parallels between the cards and the law "The Deuce reminds me of my two long arms -- and the two fists of righteousness at their extremity". The whole strip really gives the impression that Wagner is having fun on Dredd again, and as a result, it has gotten better every week.

Cam Kennedy is also on top form here, easily ramping up the tension of Dredd lecturing to the Perps, as they wonder what to do. I'm still not sure about those cross hatched helmets - but this is a small concern after 6 pages of yet more stunning art.

RC: I’ve was enjoying this story immensely to begin with, but by last week, I thought it was starting to show signs of outstaying its welcome. How wrong I was! This is the best episode yet. Though my appreciation of the main joke is tainted with some personal disgust. I mean, Wagner pulls out a joke based on the reader’s knowledge of an old, hyper-cheesy, country song. And I got the joke! What the hell does that make me??

Still, it is fun filled stuff all the way, with the Cadets steaming towards what promises to be a memorable showdown. All that remains it to wait and see if Dredd fails them all for saving him...

This is a sentence I could be writing quite a lot in this weeks reviews, but the art is great. I love Cam’s work, and Blythe’s colouring is exquisite. Check out the shading in the first panel, the use of greens in the exterior shots... beautiful.

Creepshow - Part 3

Chapter comes prepared...

Synopsis: Trapped in the Ludgate movie, Chapter tries to snap out of it, as the monsters attack. She realises that it's all fake and just has to think her way out - remembering the 9mm automatics she had in the studio. As she does, two pistols appear in her hands. She starts shooting at the monsters, repeating the mantra "it's only a movie set" and bursts through what appears to be a set wall.

Now she finds herself back to her normal self - but on a wasteland. She's forced to drop her guns by some gas-masked military men and sees a UFO upended in the ground. An excavation is taking place watched over by Brand - in the guise of "Professor Quinterman"...

GH: Caballistics inc enters far more exciting territory this week. Rennie avoids the potential downfalls of the group stumbling from one paranormal infestation to another by making this latest case far more involved for the team. Indeed the constant references to 60's horror are enjoyable, with the Quatermass reference at the end promising much for next week's episode.

But more than ever, it's Dom Reardon who really shines in this week's episode, with a number of excellent "camera" angles and a wonderful "reveal" shot of Chapter with the two old fashioned pistols. Sure this thing takes almost a split second to read - but it's dammed enjoyable all the way...

RC: Info dumps are a tricky thing to pull off properly. Too much at once will swamp the story, too little and the story is in danger of not making sense. So, full marks to Rennie for having the balls to just type a load of stuff out and stick it on the front of the strip. Bonus points need to be awarded for shifting the blame to that font of movie knowledge, Kim Newman. Add to that the fact that he’s describing a movie that I’d actually love to see and you’re onto a winner... and this is before we even get to the strip!

This story shouldn’t work, should it? Last Action Hero. Nuff said. But it is, in fact, very very good indeed. Cracking dialogue, cool two gun action, a Lovecraft nod for the fanboys, and, by Christ, non other than Bernard Quatermass! The only bad thing about this strip is the knowledge that it’s going to end.

Dom’s art is perfect. If you’re reading this Dom, I want page three.

Hell to Pay - Part 3

Kawl unleashes his power...

Synopsis: Kawl is pursued by the "arch manifestation of Evil" now in the guide of Mrs Thatcher. He falls headlong into a demon pit but before he hits the bottom, he disappears in a puff of smoke. He has been summoned by Bec - who was trying to summon the "dark lord". The Preacher tries to destroy him with holy water, but Kawl manages to send a lightening bolt from his spliff - accidentally catapulting the preacher out the window. Kawl explains everything to Bec, but before she can do something, he disappears again, as Bec's spell wears off. Unfortunately, he's now appeared back with a large number of demons that he and Kawl have previously sent to hell...

GH: After the shock appearance of Mrs Thatcher last week, and the appearance of some more dodgy pastiches, this week's Bec and Kawl is back along the right track, and I can't help but find this enjoyable again. Maybe it's because there's a little less "aren't our heroes wonderful" backslapping going on which always managed to irk me. With the self congratulation pulled out, even Bec is fairly easy to take this week.

But, as with Caballistics before it, it's the art which really shines through here this week. Roberts produces some wonderful scenes, from the plummet into the demon pit to the shock end of the preacher.

So basically, it's much better than I really want to admit it is.

RC: Humour, it can be said, is a funny thing. There are parts of this strip that I know are supposed to be funny, but I just read them without cracking a smile. Then there are others, like (for some reason) the use of the word ‘kestrel’ in the opening caption, that I find hilarious. The series is really improved no end from previous outings. The focus on character comedy rather than knowing nods at other people’s work has been the kick in the arse that it’s needed.

Super cliff-hanger too.

Steve Roberts’ art. Yes it’s great. Colouring ways, he couldn’t be further from the style in the Dredd strip, but it is lovely here. He does good monsters too.

The Shadow Warriors Book 2 - Part 3

Hammerstein trips out...

Synopsis: Don Maniacus, rogue paramedic, as been in the ABC Warriors hitlist already, and has been hired as a shadow Warrior.They fly after him, but Maniacus releases Neuro Pain shells - from the stored pain of his victims. The shock starts to disable the Warriors, but this also unleashed "Machine BAttle Frenzy Syndrome" in Mongrol, who starts to destroy Maniacus' ship, and Deadlock joins in the attack.

Back in the hospital, the nurse is unable to save B Boy. She knows all the kids, and takes care of them while they pray for B Boy.

Elsewhere, in the Red House, the Confederate headquarters, Bloomcrater, the president and his wife Juanita unveil the last two shadow warriors "Warmonger and Mr Lovebomb!"

GH: OK - so Doc Maniacus was already known to the Warriors - I guess I can accept that...

Flint has been known to pull off some good psychedelic imagery in recent work (the Alien Invasion tales do make me wonder what he's on) and he puts this talent to great use in this week's Warriors. The first and second page work well at making both Steelhorn and Hammerstein look like their having a really bad trip, and this is followed up by some wonderfully manic shots of Mongrol. Flint also does a particularly good job of making Deadlock look totally insane in battle - something the character really benefits from.

As for Mills, if he manages to put some of the ingenuity that he's shown in this tale and the recent Savage into Slaine - then even that will be worth reading again. His work on these two stories do show that he is an extremely valuable assett for 2000AD, and able to get away with some bizarre work that other writers wouldn't be able to pull off. This week, the use of the word "Bootleg" instead of "bastard" is inspired, and let's be honest - who isn't looking forward to the introduction of "Mr Lovebomb"?

RC: There are too many cool bits in this weeks strip. Never mind the Warriors, combine many nice character moments with Flint’s mental art, and the reader is close to a MBFS themselves.

‘...but not devil proof. With one possible exception.’ In a prog overflowing with classic moments, this just might be my favourite. Or the bit where Blackblood offers to read from the Book of Judas. Or Mongrel going daft. Or the reveal of the final two Shadow Warriors.

I liked Flint’s work on Low Life, but this surpasses even that. I’m beginning to see why everybody else is head over heels for his work, and, like Kevin O’Neil, his pen seems perfectly in tune with the strange stuff that comes out of Pat Mills’ head.

The Headly Foot Job - Part 4

Wulf prepares for some "alone time" with Foot...

Synopsis: The dogs and Bootsy race for the border, followed by the Feefoan guard. Sternhammer and Bootsy continue to fight, but Alpha warns them that they are losing power. They bail out and disable the incoming Feefoan guard. As they run for the border, Bootsy's boys arrive, and both the dogs and Bootsy open fire. But he lets one through and starts beating him. But the gang member tells him that they were trying to stop Alpha taking him across the border for the reward. Alpha says this is indeed the plan, and they drag him across the border, and hand him into the authorities to claim 50 thou reward.

Headly Foot is taken into custody and starts swearing revenge - so Alpha tells the authorities that he has "Foul Tongue" and that Wulf can heal it if he's given a moment alone with Bootsy in the guardhouse. For five minutes, Wulf beats the living crap out of Bootsy in return for the abuse he gave him during the chase - and then leaves him for the authorities - "sometimes the cure can be worse than the disease".

GH: It's over already? That alone provoked no small amount of shock - but in retrospect, a couple of smaller Strontium Dog tales, while we wait for the promised epic next year may be just what we need. Stripped down to the core - there really wasn't a great deal to this story in the end - just an excuse to get Sternhammer and Headly Foot riled at each other. But with Wagner able to write dialogue like "We'd lose a bit of weight if we dumped fatso", this is, like the Dredd story earlier, highly enjoyable nonsense. The ending may have been telegraphed a couple of issues ago - but sometimes this just doesn't matter, especially when Wagner's back up with some wonderful Ezquerra art (it's no wonder he's doing so well in the best artist ever poll).

One thing's for sure - this gives a little more ammo to Gordon Rennie's view of Johnny and Wulf's "relationship". 10 minutes alone in the guardhouse for "tough love" indeed...

RC: Man, it’s hell of a thing when your favourite series EVER, is coming in at the bottom of the table in a weeks prog. The good thing though, is that this tale is great, it’s just the rest is bloody great.

A slight tale for sure, but an entertaining one nevertheless. And let’s be honest, there was only one thing we all wanted to see: Wulf kicking the shit out of Bootsy. Then, having Wulf breaking his toes was genius! And did I say the highlight of the prog was Deadlock? Well, it just might be the last frame of this story. Crap joke, still funny and an iconic picture. What more can a man ask for?

Ezquerra lets himself down badly this week, with shoddy work throughout the strip, and panel layouts and colour touching barely on the bottom end of pedestrian. I am, of course, lying. It’s flawless, I just got bored saying that in every other strip and thought I’d amuse myself for a while. Move along now.