Prog 1350 - 23 July 2003
Cover by Henry Flint & Chris Blythe
Synopsis and review by Gavin Hanly
2nd Opinion by Paul White

Summaries and reviews contain spoilers for this issue.

GH: You can always tell it;s a "summer assault" or some other such "all new story" issue, as it's pretty much the only time that Tharg turns up on the cover. This is a an Ok cover, but at heart features pretty standard poses for all the main characters shown. Tharg does look pretty scary for once, though... One of the most obvious thins about this cover is the reintroduction of ever-so-slightly thicker paper stock for the cover, which gives the whole prog a more substantial feel. Let's hope this carries on past 1350. ONe last note - I think the "all new stories" strapline should have been given way more space than it did.

PW: Strictly a 7 / 10 effort. Can't fault the artwork, and although it's kind has been seen many times before, it's still exciting to see Dredd and Alpha on the same page. I hear that yellow doesn't meet with favour amongst the 2k massed - i say it stands out on the rack, and that's what counts.

The Satanist - Part 1

Synopsis: Dredd and some fellow judges are interviewing a serial killer when Dredd gets a vid call from Mrs Pasternak telling him his niece, Vienna Pasternak, has gone missing. But Mrs Pasternak died last month. Dredd checks into it and finds out that Vienna has indeed gone missing, so he heads off to Brit Cit.

Once there he finds Vienna's apartment with no signs of a struggle, and a security cam image of the night she disappeared, showing no signs of her running away, and instead looking like she was going out on a date. Dredd is temporarily assigned to Brit Cit judiciary to look into the case. He looks through her drawers and finds a file full of cuttings about him - he realises he needs to get to know her better in order to find her.

Following a lead, he discovers that Vienna had just landed a lead role in a play, but on his way back to her apartment, he notices that the lights are on...

GH: This is already a marked improvement over the gradual disappointment that was "The Chief Judge's Man". It's a story more set inside Dredd's head, as and such promises more than your average Dredd tale. Certainly Dredd's weariness at the beginning speaks more about his character than we've seen this year so far, as does his growing realisation of chasm that lies between his life and that of his neice. That's not to say I don't like the knock-down action Dredd stories, but it's good to see the start of a more psychological set-up for a change.

The potential of Vienna, Dredd's niece, hasn't been fully tapped in 2000AD yet, with plenty of scope for stories involving her, so it'll be worth discovering if Dredd really does decide to open up his life to her a little bit more this time around. It's the stories where Dredd is forced to examine a potential character flaw when we get the best out of Wagner on Dredd. Overall - a nice opener, promising much from this tale.

It's also good to see the return of Charlie Adlard to 2000AD, whose work I haven't seen in quite some time. He puts on a great show here, easily cranking up the tension throughout with moody artwork. Simple shots like Dredd turning off the light work extremely well and so far he's proving to be an ideal choice for this story. Nice to see king-fan and ex 2000AD Reviewer WR Logan putting in an appearance in the 2nd page too...

PW: A welcome change of pace for Joe as he investigates the disappearance of his neice, Vienna. The dark and subdued art employed by Charlie Adlard suits the tone as Dredd's obvious disgust at yet another Mega-City One sicko gives way to concern and then guilt over his realisation that he knows nothing of his neice's life. This is certainly a more introspective Dredd than we've been served up of late, and that's no bad thing. Dredd's complete devotion to upholding the law comes at a price, and this hits home when he see's Vienna's picture - a stunning young woman dressed 'for a date perhaps'. Dredd struggles when asking about 'men friends' in much the same way any middle-aged father would when wondering what she gets up to when he's not around. Dredd's out of his depth here on a personal level, and he has to make amends - whatever it takes.

Adlard's seemingly simplistic art is perfect here, and is suitably complimented by Chris Blythe's colours - it's not art to get the fanboys raving, but it tells the story more than capably, conveying Dredd's awkwardness and lack of experience in this kind of family situation...

I can't help wondering how much of John Wagner's life is in this story. I can almost feel bitter experience dripping over each line; "he didn't know what young people were like", "I need to get to know her now". Good stuff - looking forward to the next episode...

Golamh - Part 1 (double sized)

Synopsis: Sláine jumps into the pit of fire after Moloch (following directly from prog 1326). They come face to face with the Cyth Terror, who will attack them as there are no sacrifices. Moloch fights and taunts Sláine, and apparently hypnotises him, but Sláine is faking, and mortally wounds Moloch. Before dying, Moloch tells Sláine that his land is to be invaded by a new enemy from the realm of the dead, the "dread of Europe" in search of "the land at the end of the sunset". Sláine responds by throwing Moloch into the waiting Cyth demon, and he now has to fight his way out...

Back on Earth, the "dread of Europe" head toward Ireland, but are being forced back by a Druidic storm. Amergin invokes the spirit of the land to halt the storm, as their ancestors were there long before the tribes of the Earth Goddess. The Leader, Gael, meets with Princess Meritaten, who rebuffs his advances for some reason "I need more time". Amergin reminds Gael that they are to share the land with the tribes, as they begin their landing. They unleash "forbidden weapons" against the tribes as Gael's men attack. We learn that he and his knights were attacked by Sea Demons and are now their hosts. Gael is the host of Lord Odacon, who has promised to free Gael after the invasion.

As Gael and his unstoppable army invades, he shouts "We'll share the land with them...they can have the earth for their graves".

GH: I used to really like Sláine. Never being a particular fan of fantasy fiction, I was surprised when I found myself enjoying the early episodes. It's semi-grounding in Celtic mythology made it all seem somewhat easier to relate to, and this was helped by some sterling artwork, particularly by McMahon. But gradually my interest began to wane, as Sláine's stories grew more outlandish. The Cythron story, recently reprinted in the Megazine was great, but seemed to be the beginning of the problem - all those "leyser guns" jut didn't seems to fit very well.

Faith was restored by the Horned God, one of the all-time highs in 2000AD history, but a downward trajectory has plagued the character ever since. One of the many problems has been Mills' need to get around the limited time period that Slaine had before he was due to be sacrificed to the Earth Goddess, as tradition demanded. More and more outlandish reasons were given for Sláine's continuing existence, and in different time periods, that I began to feel he could never be in danger, and therefore lost interest in the character. In this issue alone, Sláine's apparent sacrifice in plunging after Moloch in the last book is rendered pointless by his "all I have to do is find a way out of here" approach...

So gradually we get to the Books of Invasions, and book 2 - Golamh. There's a potentially interesting set up here - possessed ancestors invading their former homeland - but I had to pore over the thing with a fine toothcomb before I could understand the plot. And that's with a number of people helpfully standing around expositing wildly. Hell, the same verse about the invading race is used 3 times in this issue alone. And I'm still not sure I get it! If they reinstated Ukko's voiceover commentary, all this exposition would be far less obvious, and might actually make sense. I also have no real sympathies for any of the characters so far because their dialogue is so dire that I can almost imagine a tired washed-up actor deadpanning his way through it.

The art is much more promising indeed, with Langley producing some fantastic imagery here, especially in the flame filled pit, and losing the darkness that plagued early episodes of Book 1. The only problem is that it just doesn't seem to work as comic book art. While the art is undoubtedly great, too much time is spent trying to work out what's going on, disrupting the flow of the story.

Perhaps, I'll start to enjoy this as the story progresses, and I'm certainly willing to give it a try - but this is not a good start for me.

PW: In all my years of reading 2000AD, I can honestly say that I've never been a Sláine fan. We all knew it was coming back (well, there was a cliffhanger after all) so I convinced myself to give the series a chance and to view it objectively... so here we go.

The first thing I notice is the wonderful art - it truly stands out on the page and demands attention, and I can almost hear the roar of the flames as the protagonists battle to the death. Elsewhere the art is no less beautiful, injecting a sense of realism with photo-realistic images (maybe too realistic in some places?) - it was also nice to see Roy Wood pop up on page 7, panel 3 (or is it Alan Moore?).

However, I'm convinced that lesser art would fail to distract the reader from the clunky dialogue that crashes out of every panel. Even the overtly deviant sexual overtones ("I'm going to make you my boy, slaine") feel contrived. I admit that I'm not the greatest fan of Pat Mills' work, but Slaine as a story does absolutely nothing for me, and it simply doesn't fit here. I had the misfortune to read this episode the night after watching The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers, which probably didn't help aid my attempts at objectivity - but this kind of thing has been done before and much much better. I think the best thing I can say is that once it's finished, I'll attempt to read it all in one go, but on a weekly basis I'll treat this as 5/6 pages of pretty pictures. Sorry.

The Tax Dodge -Part 1 (double sized)

Synopsis: Alpha and Sternhammer are dining in the Doghouse, the orbiting SD base, when they are approached by Taxman Orville J Paxman who says he owes 2 million creds in back taxes. Paxman says he can take his badge and imprison him if the bill is unpaid, so Alpha and Sternhammer leave to get the "accounts". On the way, Alpha tells a huge Mutie, that Paxman's after him, and they leave to the sound of Paxman being beaten up.

Alpha & Stenhammer take a 5 thou job on Hub World, looking for Gunsel Drayne. Hub World is a backwater colony, run by mutie hating lawmen, who warn Alpha & Wulf to stay out of trouble. Later they get to a boarding hose, reputed to be the hiding place of Drayne. They meet with Mrs Pertwee, owner of the boarding house who points them to Orphy's bar, and reminds them of the 10% finders fee. Sternhammer pays it out, grumbling that the job is already costing them more money that they'll earn. They get to the bar, and take Drayne with ease. They get ready to drop Drayne off, and go after a more lucrative target, the Woebringer. But Alpha tells Wulf to "get back", after seeing "The Unrighteous Brothers", a group to whom crime is a religion - who have a huge reward on their heads.

As they prepare to go after them, they are stopped by the lawmen, who have Paxman in tow, and arrest Alpha and Wulf for Tax Evasion. Paxman takes Drayne to help pay off Alpha's back taxes, as the Lawmen mess around with a time bomb, setting it off by accident, and ending up in deep space. Alpha tells Paxman to keep Drayne, and to forget about the rest of the taxes, but Paxman isn't giving up so easily...

GH: First of all - it's great to see Ezquerra back in colour again. As one of the early experimenters in computer colouring, he has got the whole thing down perfectly, and his art looks unbeatable in this style. Every page of this week's episode looks absolutely fantastic, from the gloomy surroundings of the doghouse to the sunset arrival on Hub World. No other artist should ever be allowed to tackle Strontium Dog again. I don't care how unadventurous that sounds, Ezquerra simply draws the Johnny alpha character with a style that no-one else could match.

As for the story - it's another humourous one for the two Search/Destroy agents, and the idea of the taxman finally catching up with them is a good one. Other touches like the informant asking for a cut of the reward, and the misuse of the time-bomb are a delight, and only Wagner can get away with a group of villains called the "Unrighteous Brothers". As long as this tale doesn't get too bogged down with the idea of the taxman getting them in trouble by appearing at inopportune moments, this will be a great read. Hell, even if the story's as simple as that, I'll still be along for the ride.

One minor request. While I love these humourous SD tales, I'd love to see a return to the nature of the first of the latest run, with more serious consequences for our heroes, and a darker tone.

PW: Johnny Alpha is back with John Wagner in control, colour Carlos Ezquerra art and a humorous start to the tale. Surely this is exactly what we all wanted? Well, actually, yes it is. We launch straight into the main story - no messing about - as Johnny is brought to task for his failure to pay his taxes "to the government that made me an exile" (good point). Old favourites such as The Doghouse, Harvey (with classic throwaway lines such as "don't say I don't look after you freaks") and Time Bombs make welcome returns. Even the sterotypical self-important "sherrif" and his dumb-ass deputy are treated with welcome disdain and killed off within 6 pages. Okay, so we have the convenience of The Unrighteous Brothers and the Woebringer (presumably all worth a lot of creds) coincidentally happening to be on the same planet as Johnny and Wulf, but that's okay - it's an adventure story, and it's got to kick off somehow.

For me, Strontium Dog has always been at it's best when played out as a straightforward western. You can add as much futuristic weaponry and mutations as you like, but the basic premise is the same - he's the untrusted outsider bringing 'trouble' into town, and doing what he has to do. But despite all the killing, Johnny has always been a 'good man' with a strict moral code - I just have this feeling that Orville J Paxman (I look forward to the spin-off series) will get those taxes paid in the end, but Johnny will have the last laugh somehow...

Only one gripe though... without his helmet, Johnny doesn't look like the Johnny of old. I can't quite figure out if it's his hair or his face in general. In any case, i'm sure it won't distract from the enjoyment to come.